We have seen how our Identity affects our attitude. To be a happy
parent we need an attitude that will help us be happy all the time. An
Attitude, which will never drain us to unhappiness. This will require a
Universal Identity that will make us happy & loving no matter what
mess any person (read relationship personal or professional) creates in
our life. Before we find such Identity let us study our basic identity
to clarify, how good it is.
Who am I?
One Fine morning a gentleman comes into my office and starts talking by introducing himself by his name, age, where he came from, whats he professionally, education, his family, all the details we usually expect. He might even be having certificates & identity cards to prove all these claims. You all might be having such papers right? Even I do as it is required by Govt of India. But then all these details belong to the body. What were we before birth? What after death? Will this identity work? Are we this body? Is there nothing more to us, than this bodily existence?
I know you all know the answer to this. I am a spiritual being having physical experience. All such theories we read in books and listen to religious leaders preaching, right? The simplest answer to the above question is I am a Soul or Atma. The question people ask is, I have been living like this all my life, I never had any problem, why should I go into such spiritual stuff? Most of the people who talk this stuff themselves don’t realize the practical implications of this question in day to day life. How is this concept of Soul or Atma or Spirit relevant to our parenting?
Nature of Atma:
Soul/Atma is the life that is conscious, aware and controlling this body through the brain. When soul leaves the body it is called dead body and buried or cremated. We need to understand nature of Atma to find its relevance in our day to day life. There are seven qualities of Soul which define our existence.
1. Peace
2. Love
3. Knowledge
4. Happiness
5. Bliss
6. Power
7. Purity
Nature of the soul is to be in peace, loving, understanding, happy, blissful, powerful & pure. When we are soul conscious we experience these qualities. When we are body conscious we expect these qualities from outside. Instead o being peaceful we become angry because our expectations are not fulfilled. Instead of feeling love we feel lonely in between a party if we expect others to love us.
This expectation gives your remote control to the other person and you lose peace and happiness. Who has most control over us? One who is closest to us? We have most expectations from them. They usually fulfill our expectations more than others so they are close. Thus they have more control over our life. They can hurt us much more than anyone else. So if we want to regain control over self got to practice soul consciousness.
Expectation is the nature of body consciousness, body cannot create anything by itself it needs everything from outside like food, clothing, shelter, medicines, exercise, etc. Soul expresses these qualities from within. This is the reason great saints have said remove "I" (ego) and "want" (body consciousness) to be "peaceful" (soul consciousness), that peace is within and cannot be found else where by searching in the world. Happiness & Bliss similarly is within cannot be found outside. If you want to be happy, it is not in what happens or what others do, it is about how you are (body or soul conscious). In other words state of expressing or expecting decides if we will remain happy in our control or not. So constantly check if you are expressing or expecting happiness. If you are unhappy it means you are expecting.
If we cannot have control over self, how can we expect that from children? If we don’t know, how to be happy, how can we make our child’s life happy? You may give everything to your kids but not happiness, if you are not happy by yourself. We can only give what we have, if we are angry, that’s what children get, if we are dissatisfied and powerless, that’s what children learn. It is parent’s happiness & contentment that gives children a happy and secure life.
One who is soul conscious and experiences self as different from body is always happy. How to do it? Next blog obviously.
Who am I?
One Fine morning a gentleman comes into my office and starts talking by introducing himself by his name, age, where he came from, whats he professionally, education, his family, all the details we usually expect. He might even be having certificates & identity cards to prove all these claims. You all might be having such papers right? Even I do as it is required by Govt of India. But then all these details belong to the body. What were we before birth? What after death? Will this identity work? Are we this body? Is there nothing more to us, than this bodily existence?
I know you all know the answer to this. I am a spiritual being having physical experience. All such theories we read in books and listen to religious leaders preaching, right? The simplest answer to the above question is I am a Soul or Atma. The question people ask is, I have been living like this all my life, I never had any problem, why should I go into such spiritual stuff? Most of the people who talk this stuff themselves don’t realize the practical implications of this question in day to day life. How is this concept of Soul or Atma or Spirit relevant to our parenting?
Nature of Atma:
Soul/Atma is the life that is conscious, aware and controlling this body through the brain. When soul leaves the body it is called dead body and buried or cremated. We need to understand nature of Atma to find its relevance in our day to day life. There are seven qualities of Soul which define our existence.
1. Peace
2. Love
3. Knowledge
4. Happiness
5. Bliss
6. Power
7. Purity
Nature of the soul is to be in peace, loving, understanding, happy, blissful, powerful & pure. When we are soul conscious we experience these qualities. When we are body conscious we expect these qualities from outside. Instead o being peaceful we become angry because our expectations are not fulfilled. Instead of feeling love we feel lonely in between a party if we expect others to love us.
This expectation gives your remote control to the other person and you lose peace and happiness. Who has most control over us? One who is closest to us? We have most expectations from them. They usually fulfill our expectations more than others so they are close. Thus they have more control over our life. They can hurt us much more than anyone else. So if we want to regain control over self got to practice soul consciousness.
Expectation is the nature of body consciousness, body cannot create anything by itself it needs everything from outside like food, clothing, shelter, medicines, exercise, etc. Soul expresses these qualities from within. This is the reason great saints have said remove "I" (ego) and "want" (body consciousness) to be "peaceful" (soul consciousness), that peace is within and cannot be found else where by searching in the world. Happiness & Bliss similarly is within cannot be found outside. If you want to be happy, it is not in what happens or what others do, it is about how you are (body or soul conscious). In other words state of expressing or expecting decides if we will remain happy in our control or not. So constantly check if you are expressing or expecting happiness. If you are unhappy it means you are expecting.
If we cannot have control over self, how can we expect that from children? If we don’t know, how to be happy, how can we make our child’s life happy? You may give everything to your kids but not happiness, if you are not happy by yourself. We can only give what we have, if we are angry, that’s what children get, if we are dissatisfied and powerless, that’s what children learn. It is parent’s happiness & contentment that gives children a happy and secure life.
One who is soul conscious and experiences self as different from body is always happy. How to do it? Next blog obviously.
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