Thursday, September 19, 2013

Happy Parenting 2: How do children face Life?

Mothers feelings: Feel loved and blessed for having baby
Children from very young age have inquisitive nature to know things. Even in the form of fetus the baby learns to communicate with mother and surroundings. Feel the mother’s feelings and thoughts about the baby and creates opinion about life. once born they are more inputs available, touch, sight, taste, smell, pain, comfort and all host of different information.

Mother needs to feel loved and blessed for having baby. A mother reading positive inspirational book helps a lot. Meditation is best learnt and benefitted from by mothers at this stage.

Inquisitive: Not satisfying curiosity is most harmful
As the Baby grows into toddler, learns to walk and talk, they have ultimate amount of enthusiasm to learn to walk and talk. Their persistence and efforts to move around and explore the world around is amazing. They want to touch & taste everything and anything. They get attracted to different sounds and remember them. How parents interact with this toddler helps them or makes their life difficult.

For example if the kids wants to play with candle flame. Parents usually take the kid away from it because they feel it’s harmful for the kid. But they don’t understand is not satisfying kids inquiry is even more harmful because kid will try behind your back. Its best of parents hold the kids hands and take it close to flame cautiously so the fingers feel the heat and kid will pull back from the flame when it gets too hot for them and learn an important lesson about flame. They will always be responsible with flame once they learn this lesson. This is the way to teach responsibility to kids.

Peoples Opinion: Kids opinion is worth more than what parents think
Parents grow used to too many demands and don’t pay attention for the intellectual requirement of the baby. They depend heavily on all the free suggestions they receive from soliciting horde of friends and relatives who act as if they are experts on the subject. This is the struggle of the toddler, as they are treated by the standards of their parent’s advisors and their own curiosities and interests don’t matter. Yet they prevail and do well in the greatest love and care of the parents to whom they are everything. They recognize most of the relatives and have an opinion about them by this time. Their innocent opinion is worth more than what the entire intellectual understanding about people, elders have if you care to learn from them their perspective.

Verbal Instruction: Trust is the most precious of all feelings a kid can have towards parents.
Children never like parents to take them for granted in anything. It’s a great responsibility and most patient job in the world to explain and teach kids of this age about what everything is. Visual and positive emotional stories help them a lot. If parents are able to create positive dialogue and explain things so that kids have the right opinion about surroundings, they will not be shocked about the truth later. Trust is the most precious of all feelings a kid can have towards parents. Avoid losing trust for any silly reason. It’s the responsibility of parents to teach the children about how to deal with things, situations and other kids. It’s never wrong to say I don’t know, kids will accept that and learn to accept ignorance. When parents act know it all they will learn know it all arrogant behavior.

Being There: Talk to children and learn what they feel is right & wrong
So availability of parent & simple honesty are the best way to earn that. Time you spend on kids cannot be substituted for anything; lost time is lost forever. Their learning cannot be stopped because parents are busy. They learn from other kids, TV, maids, relatives and all those who are available for them. If you can’t teach don’t expect them to grow up as you like or learn ethics you like. Rather it would be better if parents talk to children and patiently learn what they think is right & wrong. Then we get an idea of their ethics and help them correct their opinion. Most of the time, they have better ethics than elders.

Exploring world: Ethics are thought by living them and not by preaching them
Allow children to explore the world in supervision. Do not cling to children as they get older, they like to be independent. They like to be respected and treated as equals. Be there when they need, let them find their way in the world. When you feel they are taking wrong direction help them understand what’s wrong with their thinking logically. Help them overcome their fears and become confident. It doesn’t matter what you think is right & wrong, it’s always what they think is important. Help them shape their ethics, don’t teach self control with instructions but with your behavior. More control you have, they will learn that naturally from you. Ethics are thought by living them and not by preaching them.

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