Thursday, September 19, 2013

Happy Parenting 1

Om Shanti 

We are always amazed by the intelligence and wisdom kids teach us lots of times. Kids are said to be representatives of God in each family. we cherish and nurture them. The Issue with today's children is the major complaint from parents is children don't listen to us. As if they ever listened to their parents when they were that young. many of you would protest that you were not like that. I know you were not because you didn't have the exposure of what today's kids have. Now that we have stated the problem. lets look at the solution. few tips on parent of the day.

Tip 1: Beat children as much as you want when you are not angry.
When children are being uncontrollable and difficult use as much force as needed to make them understand. But on one condition, that you should not be angry when you are using force. This is very important. you should never ever abuse your children because you could not control your temper. That would be serious case of child abuse. Children are small and cant hit you back and vulnerable, it is their bubbly energy that makes them naughty to have fun when you are so boring for them.

Your getting angry is your problem not childrens, If you loose patients then you lost it, not the children.It would be grave mistake to make children responsible for your state of mind. Practice meditation and empower your self, else you are not worthy of your childrens care taking previledges.

why? because when you hit children in anger they learn an important lesson, they are allowed to be as naughty as they want but only not when you are angry. They will never learn the lesson you want to teach but only that which they understand. They know now how to test your patients instead of how to respect. When you are angry with children and lost control, you lost all your respect.

If you hit them always when you are cool, they will know that they were punished for their mistake and not for your anger. They will learn their lesson and never dare to repeat it. but then if you really follow this, you may never have to use beating on them in the first place. If you want to be happy parent remember to give up anger.

Tip 2: Never become sad about what children say to you.
Story time: There was a mother who loved her son. One day she wanted to make something special for her son so she went to the market specially for him and got all the ingrdients of his favorite dish. She took lot of efforts to prepare the difficult dish and tasted it to perfection. When everything was ready for the surprise her son came running home at lunch time. She was very satisfied with her preparation and served him his favorite dish. He was hungry and started immeidately on the dish, eating his full. She asked him when he finished, how the dish was? and he replies "there is defenitely something wrong with it, its not what i used to like".

What would the reaction of the mother be? what is your reaction? mother obviously is sad now and blames herself for not being able to satisfy her son. she broods for the whole day may be cry some. Is this what happens in your life? sounds common isnt it?

Now let me ask you a series of questions.
who is the best cook in your family? you right?
who knows wether the taste is good or bad? you would, if not you would know something isnt right before serving.
Dont you have confidence in your cooking skills or tasting skill? you wouldnt feel bad if the dish really went bad.

Mothers in their selfish attachment loose the happiness of love. She was happy as long as she was cooking and tasting. she was happy when she was shopping for ingredients. she was happy when serving.

she became unhappy when she expected appreciation instead of loving her son. The real reason for the cooments of the son was he had a fight with his friends and in a bad mood. his mood tasted bad which projected on his behaviour and taste not your ability. If you really love someone never take their comments personally but beware of their moods. If you care for your kids this is the time you need to be happy that you are able to help your kid, not sad and crying or brooding. Kid is asking for your help expressing his bad mood. If you the mother asks whats the matter, then he might appreciate some emotional support he needs. but then because mother is sad, he cant go to her and she is un available in his need. So mother is branded useless emotioanlly in need. he learns that he can always play with her mood though. he looses some of the respect for the mother. Same thing happens with Fathers. If you love your kids always be attentive to their needs. They will appreciate you when their needs are met not when you want them to. Happy family is a great family and you are responsible for the happiness.

Happy Parenting.

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