Happy Parents are cool parents was the conclusion of the last blog. Let us see some tips to be happy parent today.
One fine Sunday morning a father was sitting in front of TV watching India-Pakistan Cricket match. Usually in Indian household especially for men such a match on Sunday morning is like a gift from heaven. The match was in mid overs of first innings. His wife was bringing tea to serve and she tripped on something and spilled some of it. What would be the reaction of the man?
Think of the reaction. …… Now that you have a reaction, there are 3 possible categories of answers.
1. Offensive: Most common reaction would be father shouting at the mother something like “Can’t you watch your step? Are you blind? How could you spill the tea all over? Can’t do anything without fumbling?” and so on. Usually mother’s reaction would be something like this “You don’t do any work at home. Sticking to that Idiot box like a fool. I make tea for you and is this how I am repaid.” And there is a big fight. This is obviously soo not cool reaction, makes children insecure and creates distance with parents. Atmosphere of home is filled with anger, fear, misery for tea that isnt worth Rs 5.
2. Defensive: If the father is afraid of his wife. “Arrere did you trip on something, I am so sorry, are you hurt? It’s ok maid will clean up the mess. Try to be careful next time honey”. In this reaction man shows all his concern and compassion because he would rather avoid any further problem. Situation isn’t good but he can’t help it. When helpless, people get defensive. Do you feel defensive because you thought it was good reaction? Many people do and try to justify, don’t worry, nobody knows how you are feeling. Children in this home grow up to be helpless people who blame everybody for their problems.
3. Positive: This cool father has unique reaction. “Arreh Wah!!! You saved half the tea even after tripping? excellent. Next time dear, try not to spill even a single drop”. When this is the reaction, all the tension is suddenly dispersed and there are smiles everywhere. Children in such home become pro-active positive and responsible. They will feel secure and cared by coolest parents in the world.
What is the difference? You might have heard about glass half full & half empty. That is the difference, in the first two cases father is able to feel the loss of tea, spilling or carelessness, etc. This is half empty personality automatically acts offensive or defensive. Negativity is nothing but focusing on loss. In the third case, father is able to see the saved tea, half full mentality. When we see profit in the situation we automatically react positively and create happiness. Every situation has both facets, its our choice what we want to see. We get what we see. Profit begets profit where as loss begets further loss. Try this positive thinking and we will continue with more secrets of Happy Parenting in the next blog.
One fine Sunday morning a father was sitting in front of TV watching India-Pakistan Cricket match. Usually in Indian household especially for men such a match on Sunday morning is like a gift from heaven. The match was in mid overs of first innings. His wife was bringing tea to serve and she tripped on something and spilled some of it. What would be the reaction of the man?
Think of the reaction. …… Now that you have a reaction, there are 3 possible categories of answers.
1. Offensive: Most common reaction would be father shouting at the mother something like “Can’t you watch your step? Are you blind? How could you spill the tea all over? Can’t do anything without fumbling?” and so on. Usually mother’s reaction would be something like this “You don’t do any work at home. Sticking to that Idiot box like a fool. I make tea for you and is this how I am repaid.” And there is a big fight. This is obviously soo not cool reaction, makes children insecure and creates distance with parents. Atmosphere of home is filled with anger, fear, misery for tea that isnt worth Rs 5.
2. Defensive: If the father is afraid of his wife. “Arrere did you trip on something, I am so sorry, are you hurt? It’s ok maid will clean up the mess. Try to be careful next time honey”. In this reaction man shows all his concern and compassion because he would rather avoid any further problem. Situation isn’t good but he can’t help it. When helpless, people get defensive. Do you feel defensive because you thought it was good reaction? Many people do and try to justify, don’t worry, nobody knows how you are feeling. Children in this home grow up to be helpless people who blame everybody for their problems.
3. Positive: This cool father has unique reaction. “Arreh Wah!!! You saved half the tea even after tripping? excellent. Next time dear, try not to spill even a single drop”. When this is the reaction, all the tension is suddenly dispersed and there are smiles everywhere. Children in such home become pro-active positive and responsible. They will feel secure and cared by coolest parents in the world.
What is the difference? You might have heard about glass half full & half empty. That is the difference, in the first two cases father is able to feel the loss of tea, spilling or carelessness, etc. This is half empty personality automatically acts offensive or defensive. Negativity is nothing but focusing on loss. In the third case, father is able to see the saved tea, half full mentality. When we see profit in the situation we automatically react positively and create happiness. Every situation has both facets, its our choice what we want to see. We get what we see. Profit begets profit where as loss begets further loss. Try this positive thinking and we will continue with more secrets of Happy Parenting in the next blog.
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