Thursday, September 19, 2013

Happy Parenting 3: Why dont Children listen to Parents?

Why don’t Children Listen to Parents?
This a control issue. Parents like children to do some things & not do certain things. Children in turn want to do some things and not do other things. Now there is a clash of interests. Parents want to watch serials/news and children movies/cartoons on TV. Parents want children to study and children want to play. Each one of you can contribute and make a separate blog of this list.

Core of this issue is parents want some control over what children do and children dont want to give up the control.
Then who controls the children? Good question. Answer is their friends or someone who is cool in their perspective.

Why are their friends so cool and parents so uncool? Answer is Freedom or Self Control.
If parents have freedom in their life they are cool. If parents are always worried then they are uncool. Some kids act as if they own the world, such kids are considered cool. Parents act worried all the time with one thing or other, sometimes its work, sometimes its family problem, they have Hugh burden. Parents lack enough self control to act cool. Children don’t have burdens or responsibilities so they always act cool. You are compared unfairly? Can’t help it, Life is never fair, get on with it. Following is How Cool Test to check your level on cool scale.
If you score 3 your are just too cool,
Score 2  is very cool,
Score 1 is cool,
Score 0 makes you really uncool man.
I have the marks in your favor, don’t complain now.

How Cool Test
Do you watch TV? Yes? Good.
What would you do when u get commercial break? Obviously change the channel. Right?
How? Silly question, with Remote control.

Let us assume for the sake of test. Your face is your TV and your different moods are your channels. Channel 1 – Happiness, channel 2 - Worry, channel 3 - Fear, channel 4 - Anger, and so one. Remember that everyone around you is watching your face day in and out especially your kids. They want you cool. Which channel would you like to play?
What’s your favorite channel? Channel 1 - Happiness Right? I knew it everybody I asked choose the same one.
Now if we can find the remote we would always play channel 1 - Happiness. If we are playing any other channel it means someone else has the remote.
Where is the Remote? This is the test. If you find the remote with you in the given situation you get 1 point, else zero points.

Situation 1: You have a very important meeting at office and as usual you are running out of time. Right at that moment you get a phone call from some relative who has emotional emergency in the morning, you put all your efforts to calm them in 5 minutes and cut the call. But now you are really late. Next you get your boss calling on the phone asking you for some file before meeting so come bit early. Now you rush out of house, get on your conveyance and start riding faster than usual. As you are going through the least traffic route at as much speed as you can, you suddenly find a couple of buffalos crossing the road blocking your way. You had to apply breaks. How do you feel? Irritated? Angry? Worried? If answer is yes your remote control is with Buffalo. Buffalo was able to change your channel. If you had your remote you would play Channel 1 - Happiness remembers?
Lost this one? No problem let’s try the next, you can still be very cool.

Situation 2: That meeting went really well. Boss appreciated you before all the colleagues. They all congratulated you and had a tea party before leaving for the day. Now you are at Channel 1 - Happy, right. Remember to be there, warning you before you lose it again, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
You are happy all the way home. But as you enter the door, you find that a big fight is going on in your family. I don’t know who is fighting, it’s your family. It happens all the time, right? You are now dealing with the mess, how are you feeling? Obviously not happy. You have lost your remote control to the angry members of your family. They changed the channel right from happy to unhappy?
Lost this one? It ok family has always been an issue for everybody. You can still be cool. Let’s try the next one.

Situation 3: One of your friends needs some favour from you. So they call you up for a Dinner or Tea or something. When you meet them they are extremely gracious and praise you to the sky. Make some joke always taking care of keep you happy. What channel are we playing? Channel 1 - Happiness. We want to play Channel 1 - Happiness. We are playing it. But who is playing it? Are we able to play it naturally or is it this praise (maska)? If it is praise then they got your remote. If you are naturally happy always then you are cool.

Happy Parents are Cool Parents
Children like happy parents in all the different situations. they feel secure and cared for in a happy family. If the parents are always worried, burdened, angry, serious, it so uncool for them. They feel secure when they are with cool people. So such cool people have control of your children. If parents don’t have their remote control, children will learn how not to have control over self. They will never learn how to control self. So they become gullible and easily manipulated by the world around. Such children cannot face the world and tend to become depressed under peer pressure, parent pressure and all different issues. Today this is the reason for some many kids committing Suicide. So be a happy parent for your kids’ sake. Learn self control and be happy.

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