Let us define what we want to be and then let others define us as we want to be.

Everyone influences our behaviour to smaller or greater extent, true. How we allow others to influence our behaviour is purely our choice and strength. Given same situation of verbal jab, one might grow tolerant and loving saint where as another becomes a bitter resentment. What makes one follow different path is personal will and purpose. What ever happens outside is just a stepping stone for us to move forward. It is a test which benchmarks our progress. Our reactions and actions with respect to the situation is what defines us as who we have become at that moment. We dont need others to define us. Many a time we create situations without anyone doing or saying anything. Lot of people keep worrying without need for external stimuli.

Only when we choose the direction we shall move in using all the stepping stones to take us in the chosen direction, we can be called reasonably worthy humans. Rest are all following the crowd and being tossed and turned by the wind so to speak. This does not mean that people around you are not influencing but one chooses how others shall influence them by their own virtue either consciously or unconsciously.

So let us take this theory positively for our spiritual development so that we can grow instead tending to blame the whole world, parents and society. Most of the times we live in places where situations are overwhelming us, if this is the case then we need to do lot of soul searching to find a place where we can handle, choose a role which is within our reach and better for our growth, find people who will support us in this direction. We need to gather enough courage and will to do the right thing, its very difficult but worth it.

It is important to know that we do not move ahead just by our self, we are in this world and every aspect of the world influences us, every person we meet and every situation and material. All these help us move forward. It is like friction, we would not be able to walk if there was no friction between our feet and ground, yet this friction is what slows us down, lesser the friction easier we move. So we should be thankful to everyone and everything for our progress and be aware of which direction we shall move using this friction. To reduce friction we must become less egoistic, ego causes friction which moves us forward. Then when we are confident to fly we can renounce ego. Till then ego will keep us firm on ground.

So we need to accept all our shortcomings and weakness as a friction that is helping us move forward. Acceptance of self with proper perspective without judging and feeling bad or guilty is difficult but necessary in all spiritual development. We need lot of tolerance, courage and meditation to empower self to that extent to be able to do it. I use Rajayoga meditation(Brahma Kumaris) to do be aware of my actions all the time and change them in the direction i choose.

Let us define what we want to be and then let others define us as we want to be.