Recently i was asked "How do i Love my self?" by a very close friend who was facing some problems.
This is very fundamental question that should have been answered in primary school education but unfortunately our education does not understand importance of love in life. It is all about language, math, science, etc, which are good but we still need to review.
Love is also most misunderstood term. People think love is a feeling, emotion or passion. If you ask me, love is just love. One can express love with different feelings like happiness, affection, jealousy, possessiveness, and even hatred is an expression of love. If there was no love there would be indifference but hatred is negative expression of love fundamentally speaking. Similarly lot of different types of emotions express love ranging from enthusiasm, bliss, fear, anger, etc.
Love itself is more fundamental than any of these feelings or emotions. They say love is what connects and sustains this world. When we care for somebody, being affectionate, this is simplest expression of love. When we show concern and empathy, it is again love. Love is expressed in all different relationships in different ways. The way we love our mother is different from way we love our brothers and sisters. How we connect with person decides how we express love, also the expectations play their own part.
Love is not what we logically analyse and accept, or a give and take. Love never cares about justifications or acceptance. Love is not limited that we loose it if we give. More we give more we find love. Again we need not find love outside, we do not need anyone to love us if we learn to love ourselves. We can live independently and happily giving love because we have abundance of it when we love ourselves. Love exists for loves sake and for each and everyone of us. We dont have to worry if a person will reciprocate or not, not to worry about rejection when we love for sake of love. Happiness lives in the wake of love, so if we learn to love, we are always happy.
Only person who looses love is the one who forgets to love the self. Loving our self is what creates abundance of love which overflows to everyone around us. Then we are back to the question how do we love ourself?
what do you feel when you listen to the words, affection, care, concern, happiness, etc. can we correlate these words to relationships in our life how ever small or significant. The relationship where these apply strongly are where our love is channeled. what do we do for a person we love? we care for them, we present gifts, spend time with them, do what they like and need, right?
Now when we love ourselves, all we need to do is the same for our self. Care for our body and mind. Present gifts to self. Spend time for exercising our body or a relaxing massage and reading/watching inspirational books, programs, etc. Spending time reviewing life and meditating. Giving more importance to peace, happiness and harmony in our life. I practice Rajyoga Meditation at Brahma Kumaris, Its been a blessing for many years. This is what we can start doing to love our self. When we are in harmony with our body and mind, there is peace and happiness in our life.
We are not starved for attention and do not remain at the mercy of others (read partners, relations, friends or anybody). This solves many problems in life and gives us strength to face any issues that challenge us, personally, professionally and socially.
When do I start loving my self? Now, Now, Now. I dont need anybodies permission to care for myself, do i? We dont even need money to do most of these. Going for a pleasant walk requires only will to go nothing else.
All the best loving beings. Om Shanti
